Couples’ Therapy & Relationship Coaching
My name is Qruun Schram and I’m a relationship therapist in Hilversum, near Amsterdam. As my website is in Dutch, I’ve created a special page for expats and foreigners who are looking for English-language couples’ therapy and relationship coaching. My style could be described as: open, modern, friendly provocative. I work from the insights of esp. Esther Perel, and add elements of EFT (Emotionally Focussed Therapy), Systemic work, NLP (neuro linguistic programming) and TA (Transactional Analysis).
I realize it’s a great opportunity to live and work in the Netherlands. But from personal experience I know that living in another country can bring about challenges of its own. Even more so when your partner, and perhaps kids, have come along on the journey. As a relationship or marriage is already demanding enough, living together abroad may bring many more challenges into the equation.
What’s your situation?
One of you likely has a challenging international job somewhere in our flat little country. Meanwhile, the other stays home with the kids, tries to build a social network, and maybe start a company of his or her own. At first everything seems to be running smoothly. Most people here speak English and it’s likely there’s a strong infrastructure around (the international) school. But where does one go when tension arises within your marriage? If one of you isn’t all that happy living in Holland? When the ‘open’ Dutch society proves to have an abundance of subtle social rules for both of you to navigate in order to fully access the Dutch Experience?
When life is busy and time is scarce, it’s all too easy to become a ‘company’ as a couple, with time only focused on taking care of practical matters. And maybe you’re no longer investing in one another, spending quality time together and taking the time to discuss the challenges of your relationship within an expat lifestyle.
What I offer
My practice in Hilversum can be a safe place to visit together as a couple and discuss the differences and frustrations that have evolved during your stay here. Or maybe even prior to the move.
As a trained therapist, I’ll facilitate your conversations, and, if required, I’ll broach the questions that need to be asked.
Feel free to contact me if:
- You’ve lost your connection and both of you long to find it back
- Communication has become difficult and the fun has gone out of your interactions
- Intimacy has imploded
- An affair has taken place and you wish to find a means in establishing a new ‘contract’ together
- Friends and family are beginning to become concerned about your relationship and happiness
Who I am
To be absolutely honest: I’m 100% Dutch. My English isn’t perfect and I’m not a native speaker. So please: feel absolutely free to call me for a 15-minute, free-of-charge intake to find out whether or not you consider my English sufficient in bringing my expertise to your relationship.
Being Dutch also means that I’m direct and forthright by heart, but also flexible in approach by nature. As I’ve worked with people from many countries, I’ve developed a sensitivity for cultural differences.
I’m a male and therefore probably prefer a straightforward and modern approach to couples’ therapy. Esther Perel is a strong inspiration in my work. In addition, I use methods and exercises from the Gottman institute and other EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) rooted schools.
What to expect:
- A safe environment in which both of you have the freedom to express your feelings, desires and frustrations and thus discuss the most precious thing in life: your relationship.
- A male couples’ therapist (me, Qruun Schram) who works from Frank Farrelly’s ‘Provocative Coaching’ approach in which rapport, humor and mild provocation constitute the key elements.
- My open-hearted, non-judgmental position without moralizing prejudices or standpoints.
- A systemic reading between the lines: where do these partners come from, what is their family DNA and how does it influence them in their primary relationship?
- Aspects of Transactional Analyses and NLP may come into play.
- A beautiful and laid-back practice in the middle of Het Gooi.
- A new relationship contract, since the current or former agreement no longer works.